Treatment

Last day of the first round

Already, yesterday was the last of five days on which Noah received his chemotherapy injections for this, his first round, of treatment. The actual process always seems a bit anti-climactic. A syringe is swapped out on his infusion pump and, instead of a bowel stimulant or anti-nausea drug, Noah is given the first and then the second of his two chemo medications. The whole affair takes less than an hour and, more often than not, he is beginning to doze off for a nap by the time it is all over. Barely paying any attention to the process, Noah sits and watches Paw Patrol throughout.

In the meantime, Noah deals with the regular ups and downs of life in the hospital. He gets morphine "breakthroughs" when pain makes him uncomfortable. This is a jolt on top of a constant background injection that prevents him from feeling the pain caused by his cancer, the discomfort felt from his lack of movement and the aches caused by his constipation, which is, in part, caused by the morphine. He had also struggled with oxygen saturation. A combination of abdominal bloating, fluid retention and pressure from the tumor on his lung had made it difficult for Noah to breathe and his breaths could be quick and forceful.

Better days

But, for the most part, Noah is fairly content with small things and with peaceful moments. He is also starting to feel better and we see Noah's little sparks of joy all along the way.

He is happiest when it is just one parent and Noah in the room. When the nurses come to take Noah's temperature, he is eager to pop the cover of the thermometer off by pushing the little black release button. He loves to "shoot his gun" at mommy or daddy and he then holds onto the plastic covers until he is ready to add them to his collection which is building steadily in a mason jar by his bed.

When it is time to call a nurse he is also very excited about getting to push the call button. It is fortunate that only one signal is sent because Noah pushes that button as rapidly as he can in between the time the first call is made and when a nurse is able to come and assist.

And there was even the opportunity, Wednesday evening, for the girls to visit Noah in the hospital. For a wonderful hour and a half, our family was all together in one space. Though he was not brimming with energy, after a bit of time, Noah did start to check out the girls and he even became happy that they were around. We watched an episode of Paw Patrol together and Noah was content that we were all back together. Though their silliness was tiring for Noah, it did get him smiling. It was beautifully normal.

Everyday there are moments of light to be found in the heaviness of Noah's situation.

I never get tired of hearing him tell medical professionals to leave him alone. The fact that he refuses to complacently accept manhandling makes me smile and really shows his deeply ingrained fight and determination.

And, for the first time in over a week, Noah's fever broke on Wednesday, and he remained at a normal temperature for over 24 hours. As of this writing, it hasn't gone up again in over a day and a half.

Noah's constipation also eased and, on Thursday morning, he woke up with a soft belly that didn't hurt when it was pressed on by nurses.

And, because so much pressure had been taken off of his chest, Noah's oxygen absorption rates have increased and he has begun breathing so well that he can be taken off of supplemental oxygen for much of the time.

Without some of the tubing attached, Noah was able to get away from his bed for the first time in many days on Friday and Kim was able to first bathe him and then push him around the ward in a little cart so that he could finally go out to see what lies beyond his little hospital room.

Yesterday morning, for the first time since he was admitted, Noah was able to play on the floor and he took little steps on his own. His strength is returning.

He is smiling more often and even laughed yesterday afternoon when his little piggies went wheeing all the way home.

The other night, when Kim finally came home to rest with the girls and I spent the night at McMaster to watch Noah, I got to lay on the visitor chair/bed next to my son. During the night, whenever my boy became unsettled or upset, he reached out his little hand to me so that I could hold on to him and we held hands until we both fell back to sleep - and I was in heaven.

There is even talk that Noah may be able to come home within a week, provided he responds well to treatment. More heaven.

Thanks

On that note, I want to convey thanks to everyone who is supporting us through prayer, thoughts, positive vibes, childcare and in many other ways. We feel held by our communities and we feel very loved. It is also wonderful to see how Noah, our little boy - God's precious child - is being lifted up by those who may have never even met him. Again, thank you so much.